Oh My God, Are You Really Wearing That?

I’ve seen some fashion disasters in my life, ranging from the girl (at the races, no less) wearing the halter neck dress with the standard bra (never heard of a convertible, sweetie?) to red shoes with a fluorescent pink dress. You may choose to disagree, but I was taught pink and red do not go together, but at least that was at the mild end of fashion faux pas. 

To be honest, a friend and I got more pleasure out of critiquing the wardrobe of niteclub attendees than from actually going to the club. Yes, I am aware this is judgemental, and yes I know I posted this last week – Judgements – Are You Making Unfair Ones? As I said there, some judgements are justified, and some are not. 

Is it an unfair judgement to assess someone’s clothes? I’m not judging who they are by their clothes, just whether the ensemble works. This is totally within the wearer’s control. If you’re that concerned about what people might think of what you’re wearing, check the trusty mirror on the way out the door. And if you don’t care – then no harm, no foul. And it’s not like I went up to these people and told them what I thought. No, it was just a private chuckle. And I most certainly wasn’t judging them based on what someone else had done. 

Fashion can always be a fickle beast. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking because it’s in fashion, it automatically looks good. You cannot wear a mini skirt just because it’s in fashion unless you have great legs (I don’t and I don’t wear them). I read somewhere ‘Style is wearing what suits you, whether it’s in fashion or not’ and I’m a big believer in that sentiment. 

Personally I don’t wear:

• Mini skirts – I never had legs that great. I should have taken up dancing, huh?
• Cowl neck tops – Made for women who were less blessed in the chest department, no woman in a DD cup needs or want this style of shirt;
• Skirts with frills or ruffles around the derriere area – Made for women who have no hips or arse, they just make me look like I should be wearing a ‘WARNING: wide load’ sign.

The latest fashion in Sydney has been mullet skirts – skirts ankle length in back and almost mini-skirt short in front. It’s… interesting. But like the mini skirt, should be worn with caution. 

Umm... Just umm.

There’s also been an increasing trend for girls to dress skimpier. Now, I was (and still am) known to show off some cleavage, and let’s face it, when you have an ample bosom, sometimes it can be difficult to keep it under wraps. Tops that were never designed to reveal cleavage can become positively plunging on the right bosom. Very occasionally, when I was younger, I would wear a short skirt (not mini-skirts though). But I never teamed the two together because I believe in retaining some class and/or elegance. OK, I fall on my face too often to be elegant, maybe I’ll just settle for some dignity. 

These days, though, girls have gone far beyond lowering their neckline or raising the hemline. In fact, in some cases it seems the skirt or top is entirely optional. 

I haven’t been blessed with seeing this ensemble, but apparently this one is doing the rounds in some parts of Sydney. It consists of a very short t-shirt teamed with sheer stockings and garter straps. The t-shirt is so short the girl’s underwear (besides her stockings, I mean, which are also underwear!) are on display, together with her garter straps. In short, she forgot her pants. Or skirt. This one can’t be too common (yet) as I haven’t seen it personally, and I hope it stays that way. But I have seen the shorts that are so short the pockets hang out the bottom. Would you like a side order of shorts with your pockets, miss? This just looks daggy, not to mention if I am behind you, I don’t really want to see your arse hanging out the bottom. 

Is that supposed to be a dress?

Also, I’m sorry, but let’s face it - rightly or wrongly, someone, somewhere, will judge by your clothes. If you dress like a truck driver, is it wrong to assume you are a truck driver? No, although it might be wrong to assume that because you are a truck driver you must be, for example, a bit slow, or a bit rough, since this is not necessarily so and is a generalisation.  

As a lawyer, I dress reasonably soberly at work, no short skirts and generally no strappy tops, and I don’t dye my hair spectacular colours or have facial studs. This was particularly so as a young lawyer, when you’re even more likely to be mistaken for the receptionist if you indulge in these types of fashion fads. My hairdresser wanted to do something ‘interesting’ with my hair and I had to warn her to keep it within limits because of my profession. I accept that as a natural consequence of my career choices and the fact we will, like it or not, be judged by our clothes. 

If you’re wearing scrubs, people will think you’re a doctor. If you’re wearing robes and a wig, people will think you’re a lawyer or a judge. And if you appear to be missing some vital parts of your wardrobe…. Well, there is a very ancient job that has this trademark and you can connect the dots. 

Now there's a wedding photo you want to have on your wall for all eternity...

This is part of the A to Z Blogging Challenge Series. If you missed the previous posts, you can find them here - A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M and N.  

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