I have a fairly high threshold when it comes to being shocked by stupidity. I’ve seen so much of it I have become inured to it. It takes something jaw-droppingly stupid to truly surprise me. There are many things that I shake my head at but not so many that really stop me in my tracks.
I tell you this so you can understand the true depths of the stupidity I am about to relate to you. This is a tale I read in a local Sydney paper a few months ago now. It was like an infomercial. But wait… there’s more. Every time I thought the woman in question couldn’t possibly get any stupider… I was wrong. And the people who know me will tell you that I am rarely wrong. My husband even complains about it.
So, we have a backyard nudist. OK, some people like to sunbathe nude in the (ahem) privacy of their backyards. Such as it is. Not me, but each to their own and all that. This woman was complaining because the trees that provided privacy to the rear of her backyard had been cut down.
Well, fair enough you say. I’d be a bit miffed if someone came along and cut down my trees, whether I was in habit of sunbathing nude or not. I reasoned they might have been diseased or storm-damaged and therefore had to be taken down for safety reasons. I could see myself being a bit disappointed if I lost some mature trees in this manner. Particularly if I was in the habit of getting my kit off in their shade. Which I repeat, just so we’re clear – I’m not.
But no… the trees had been cut down by the adjoining school. Wait… you sunbathe nude in your backyard and your property adjoins a school? A primary school? What were you thinking? All I could think was these poor children under eleven who might be copping an eyeful.
Well, that aside, the trees were on the school’s property, and I figured they had every right to cut down trees on their own property. You can’t rely on trees that belong to someone else to ensure privacy in your own yard. Plant your own trees, for god’s sake. In the meantime, I should think your fence would provide some privacy. Put some lattice on top or something. Take the initiative (and some responsibility, but let’s not get side-tracked on the topic of people who can’t take responsibility for themselves) and do something to protect your privacy. It’s your problem, not someone else’s.
Hang on a moment… The school has offered to erect a fence and share costs. There‘s no fence? Your backyard abuts a primary school, there’s no fence separating it, and you sunbathe nude in that backyard? Have you no shame?
But wait… there’s more (you knew that was coming, didn’t you?).
Our nudist wasn’t happy with the school’s offer to build a fence. Really? How much privacy could the trees have offered with no fence? Anyone could have walked into her yard! So because she wasn’t happy, she decided she would protest. By handing out fliers. With naked pictures of herself. To the parents of those primary school children at home time.
There are so many things wrong with this on so many levels that I struggle to know where to begin.
Firstly, it becomes something of a moot point, does it not, to complain about your lack of privacy if you are going to voluntarily hand out naked pictures of yourself? What privacy do you have left to protect at this point?
Secondly, and more disturbing on a wider level, how could anyone possibly think it was a good idea to hand out naked pictures of themselves to parents of children under eleven while those parents have those children in tow? I shudder to think of the inevitable question. ‘Mummy, what’s that?’ ‘Nothing, sweetie, really, nothing..’
Seriously, what was running through your mind?
The only answer I can come up with is… nothing. Absolutely nothing. If there was even a modicum of intelligence in there, even one, lonely brain cell, surely it would have told her to stop? All I can conclude is that here is a woman whose IQ makes a room-temperature IQ look scorching hot!
And the very last, disturbing piece of news? Her husband whole-heartedly supported her. Clearly, he wasn’t much brighter than she was.
I hope they never breed.