My friend, Eloise March, recently sought
advertising space for her new novella. Close
Call: A Doris and Jemma Vadgeventure is humorous feminist chick lit. On
application, the site enquired about the word ‘vadgeventure’.
Close
Call features talking genitals in an exploration of
how female self-esteem is often linked to male opinion. Doris, you see, is
Jemma’s vagina. Therefore, March explained, ‘vadgeventure’ is a made up
word representing the adventures of Jemma and her vagina.
We can’t promote a book cover featuring the
word ‘vadgeventure’, the site stated. Children use this site, you know.
Excuse me? Excuse me?
How is the fact that children use the site
a reason not to feature a book using the word vadgeventure? Half of those
children have vaginas.
Which raises a point. Little boys have
‘willies’. But what do little girls have? Setting aside the question of whether
we should even make up cute names for children, there remains the fact that a
‘cute little name’ apparently doesn’t exist for women. Are girls not
allowed to know the names of their own body parts? Not even euphemisms?
What does it say to women that parts of their body throughout childhood should
remain nameless?
I’m all for telling girls the proper names.
They will ask, believe me, as they go through a stage where they point at
everything and ask you what it’s called. And yes, she will eventually ask about
her vagina.
But according to this site, children,
including girls, aren’t allowed to have any exposure to that word, or any
derivatives – even if they find themselves in possession of said organ.
Ironically, the site defending the purity
of childhood does promote and advertise books with covers exhibiting half-naked men and
women, most of whom are perpetuating the unattainable physical ideal
plaguing the self-esteem of teenage girls – one of the very issues Close
Call tries to tackle.
About Close
Call: A Doris and Jemma Vadgeventure:
Twenty-two year-old Jemma can’t seem to get
her life in order. Her track record with men stinks, and she constantly worries
about getting fat and ending up a spinster at thirty. To top it off, she has to
be a bridesmaid at her most-hated cousin’s wedding. She feels like her life is
over, until Doris decides to help. Who’s Doris? Doris is Jemma’s vagina and she
thinks more of Jemma than her own brain does. Doris is on a mission to save
Jemma from herself, but is the task too much for one vagina to handle?
If you're interested to know more about Close Call, it's available from:
Amazon - http://goo.gl/7XtR2K
Smashwords - http://goo.gl/3jeQZY
For more about Eloise March, check out her website.
