But I don't believe my divorce, or the reasons for it, are anything to be ashamed of, so when @RachelintheOC invited me on to her blog to talk about something emotionally raw and honest, I was happy to oblige.
Mental illness is stigmatised. Not enough people talk about their own experiences, making it harder for those who later have similar experiences in isolation and without support. So if sharing my experience helps one person, then I'm happy to share. You can read the whole story here.
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4 comments:
My wife is severely bi-polar. It isn't the same thing but she has extreme personalities from time to time. I've been married to her for 27 years and had we not built a good marraige I'm certain that we would never have survived the first decade.
Mental illness creeps up on you. It isn't a wound or a disease with obvious symptoms. One day the person is rational and the next they are not. It is easy to berate your spouse when she is doing stupid things in her fits of mania but it isn't wise. You might be able to "win" an argument but it is crushing when that person doubts themselves or if they are not manic and trying to convince you of something. What has helped us is that we both keep track of the symptoms and we don't lord it over the other when they are wrong.
I can't imagine multiple personalities. It would be a rollercoaster.
I'm sorry that you are going through this. There was a time when Autism was considered freakish and shunned. Now Autism awareness has grown and people are becoming educated. It begins with someone writing about it. I hope you are successful in bringing this to light. I'd like to see the stigma of mental disorders vanish. My wife, after it was known that she was bipolar was met with derision and rolling eyes as if it were something controllable.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Not enough people talk openly about their hardships and thus other people experiencing similar challenges in their lives mistakenly believe that they are alone! Like yourself, I talk very openly about the challenges which I have faced in my life in hopes that my experience will help at least one other person... and it does, often! So keep up the good work ;-)
I agree - you can't be in a relationship with someone suffering from bipolar (or any other kind of mental illness really) and expect them to behave like someone who isn't suffering that condition - because they just won't. It's a hard thing to adjust your expectations though, and there is something like a 99% divorce rate in marriages where one spouse has mental illness, so applaud your success.
It was a rollercoaster, and it does need to be spoken about. Like you, I'd like to see the stigma vanish. As hard it was for me, I'm sure it was even harder for my ex-husband. I know what you mean about the derision too - one person said to me 'eventually he just has to man up and take responsibility for his own actions'. As you and I know, that's just not how it works, and that statement demonstrated such a depth of ignorance about the reality of mental illness.
Yes, the feeling alone is often one of the most debilitating parts of the experience,a nd finding someone who really gets it, without looking at you like you're nuts, was one of the most reassuring things that happened. It is vital for people to talk about these issues. We can't just sweep them under the rug. Thank you!
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