I don’t think you need me to tell you the
horrifying statistics on bullying – the proportion of the population that has
been bullied, or that has seen someone bullied – not just as a child, but as
adults. Bullying is rife in our schools and workplaces.
School children are committing suicide
because of the pressure of bullying, which is no longer confined to the school
yard, but follows them home via the internet.
Australia has just enacted specific
workplace bullying legislation to combat the rising productivity costs of
workplace bullying.
In 2012, in Australia, the lone survivor of
a tragic boating accident that claimed the lives of his three friends committed
suicide. Why? Because he had been attacked, bullied, and received hate mail to
the effect that he ought to be ashamed of himself for surviving, or somehow
failing to save his friends. As if the man wasn’t already grieving the loss and
suffering survivor’s guilt. As if those people somehow had the right to make
such cruel statements and make his life worse than it already was. That man was
survived by a wife and small children.
More than likely, those who bullied him
have washed their hands of responsibility – it wasn’t me, it's not my fault, I
didn't make him do it. They either can't believe, or don't want to believe,
that their acts added to a man's already unbearable burden.
What kind of people commit these acts? Too
often they are shielded by the anonymity of the internet.
Now, we have the era of the Goodreads
trolls. I have seen them at work, attacking a friend of mine because she dared
to ask a question. Insidiously, they take the high moral ground and behave as
though they have somehow been wronged, while perpetrating the very behaviour of
which they falsely accuse. My friend was accused of being judgmental and
lecturing simply because she asked a question. The trolls proceeded to tell her
she had no right to ask the question, and judged and lectured her, somehow
ignorant of the irony. In fact, she of course could ask the question – she
simply had no right to an answer, and did not assert one.
And this is the mild end of it. The
Goodreads bullies have been known to bully to the point of making ill-wishes
against those they dislike, to the extent of wishing rape and death on people. I
can't fathom the kind of crime that would need to be committed against me to
wish such dreadful things on someone - certainly more than a mere difference of
opinion.
As if that weren’t enough, a few weeks ago
I saw something that appalled me. A writer was accused of plagiarism. She
responded to the accusations, including by listing some of the bullying acts
that had been perpetrated against her, acts which extended to some horrific
comments made about her husband and her very young daughter.
I don’t know if the accusations of
plagiarism are true. I don’t know if the accusations of bullying are true. It
doesn’t matter. The point of this is that I saw some people say, in apparent
bald-faced honesty, that she deserved everything she got if she is a
plagiarist.
That there summed up for me what is
perpetuating this bullying culture that we have stumbled into. Some people
think it’s OK, including in some cases as some kind of misguided justice for wrongs.
Bullying is never OK. No matter what
someone has done, they do not deserve to be bullied. If they have broken the
law, then it is a matter for the justice system. If the justice system fails,
as it sometimes does, then you must pray for divine justice if such is your
beliefs. If you’re an atheist like me, then suck it up, sunshine – you get no
justice, and that’s a consequence of your world view. I accept that justice may
not always be possible in a world with no gods.
Bullying is never OK. If we say
otherwise, we set a double standard and perpetuate our bullying culture.
A line once crossed is easier to cross
again, and for less justification.
